For my first blog post, I thought it would be fitting to discuss the movie that people love to criticize lately - "Me Before You". It seems that people are either falling in love with story of Louisa Clarke and Will Traynor or they despise the way they are portraying disabled life.
Before I go any farther, I would like to do 2 things. First, I would like to offer a disclaimer that the following beliefs are mine and mine only. The reader is by no means obligated to agree or disagree with my thoughts. Second, I will give a short synopsis of the movie.
**SPOILER ALERT**
Young and quirky Louisa "Lou" Clark (Emilia Clarke) moves from one job to the next to help her family make ends meet. Her cheerful attitude is put to the test when she becomes a caregiver for Will Traynor (Sam Claflin), a wealthy young banker left paralyzed from an accident two years earlier. Will's cynical outlook starts to change when Louisa shows him that life is worth living. As their bond deepens, their lives and hearts change in ways neither one could have imagined. (Wikipedia) The twist is that Traynor has agreed to live for 6 more months before opting to go to a facility called "Dignitas" in order to have an assisted suicide. At the start of these 6 months, Traynor's parents have hired Clark as a personal companion in the hopes that she will enable him to envision a life worth living for despite his physical and emotional challenges and they eventually fall for each other. Unfortunately, Clark is unsuccessful and Traynor still opts for the assisted suicide at the end of the 6 months. In his will, Traynor leaves Clark his money and tells her to go off and follow her dreams.
In the disability community, this movie is getting a lot of heat for supposedly portraying the disabled in a bad light and that they are to be pitied. For example, the CEO of Independence First says, "I think that sends a bad message … I mentioned that, with our population aging, with our medical ability, that people can really have full lives with disabilities, that there are support systems that can really help people,” Schultz said."' (1)
After reading this article, and the dozens that followed, I was actually disappointed with the disability community being against the movie more than anything, not the movie itself. This community, more than any others, should be more understanding of the struggles that we are faced with. We should know that the determination, faith, and strength that is DEMANDED of a disability does not come naturally to everyone, especially to someone who becomes disabled later on in life. I was born with my disability, so it is all that I have ever known. I cannot begin to imagine living an absolutely full life, and then have it suddenly taken away from you.
Someone who has a disability, especially a major one such as paraplegia, must sacrifice a lot whether they know it or not. We sacrifice a normal life. We cannot just go to a friends house or out on the town spur of the moment. There is usually planning that is involved, such as accessibility, safety, and/or health concerns. Those who love and care for us are forced to make these same sacrifices. There are also times when you look at those you love and who care for you and wonder how different their life would be if they did not have to. What would they be a be able to do that that can't now? Any disabled person that says they have not pondered these questions is not being very honest with themselves. Holly Warland explains in perfectly when she says, "You can build all the ramps and promote all the inclusiveness you want, but sometimes the reality is that nothing can shake that feeling that you're trapped in a broken body that can't fulfill your utmost dreams and desires." (2)
Another reason I applaud this movie is because it portrays an aspect of disability life that I've never really seen in a major motion picture: depression. Most movies that involve disability such as "Simon Birch" and "The Theory of Everything" to name a couple put off this idea that if there is enough love, perseverance, and hope in their life that the disability is no big deal and that these people eventually, with enough pixie dust and sunshine, go off to do exactly what they wanted to in their life. While a lot of this is true, it is not the entire story. What these and many more movies fail to show is that depression is a part of disability and it's something that the person must battle everyday. This is not true for all disabled people, but most. Don't get me wrong by thinking that all disabled people have problems with depression. Most are genuinely happy people, but why is Hollywood usually so scared to show this side of disability life, especially when the goal of the movie is to show reality? I was very happy to see that the creators of this movie were not afraid to show this side of disability that is often ignored.
Just as every person is different, every disability is different. I cannot say what it is like to be in Traynor's situation anymore than anyone else can. And they shouldn't say he and his family and friends are immoral for participating in assisted suicide. However, I do know what it is like to be in so much physical/emotional pain that I didn't know how I would get though it. I am lucky to receive quality healthcare and have enough love and opportunities to have enough in my life to help me see its beauty, just as Traynor did. However, not everyone has these opportunities, which why I cannot condemn this choice for him or anyone else that feels this is right for them. Like everyone else in the audience and the film, I wanted Traynor to live. As anyone who finds themselves in this position will discover, it's not right to make someone live a life that they are not happy with, especially when those people have no idea what living that life is like.
Those who are protesting this movie also say that it promotes the idea the severely disabled cannot find love and happiness and would be better off dead. In my opinion, this movie shows how precious life is and how amazing it could be even in the most unimaginable circumstances. In the movie, Clark is , in an effort to help him see the beauty in life, is able to convince Traynor to go on a once in a lifetime trip with, which is something that he never imagined he would be able to do or enjoy. Clark also begins to see the beauty of life too. Before she meets Traynor, she has a dead end job at a bakery, is in a passionless relationship, has ceased her education, and still lives with her parents to help support them financially. Once the two meet, she has a new desire to go into fashion, travel the world, and move out of her parents into her boyfriend's place. Essentially, she begins to want to live for herself and stop for others. In my opinion, this movie is very anti-euthanasia in the way that Clark tries with everything to "save" Traynor.
In the end, I want to thank the creators of this movie for showing a side of disability and life that seems to be taboo. A side that everyone's afraid to talk about. I hope that this movie will open people's eyes to what disabled life is really like. Have compassion for those who are fighting a battle. It's most likely a lot harder than it looks. Live life fully. Do the things you want in life.
-CV